When it comes to Long-Term Care (LTC), denial is the industry’s real default plan.  Most of the advisory community would rather talk about new tax strategies, Roth conversions, Monte Carlo simulations, or the latest estate planning trend than the brutal, messy, life-altering reality of LTC.  But avoiding it doesn’t make the risk go away — it just makes the eventual fallout worse.  So here it is: gallows humor with 15 jokes about LTC that shouldn’t be funny, but kind of are — because they’re true (or should be).

1.  What did the Alice Advisor say to Mrs. Jones after they spent $1 million on Mr. Jones’s long-term care?

Nothing, the same thing she said about planning for it in the first place.

2.  Who do you call about a financial, retirement, estate, tax, or risk management plan without a LTC component?  

Morgan & Morgan - For the people….after the nursing home takes the rest.

3. When did the RIA finally bring up Long-Term Care?

When the kids transferred the remaining assets after Dad died.

4. When did the CPA finally learn about the tax benefits of the Pension Protection Act for his client?

After the client found a new CPA.

5. Why didn’t the Medicare specialist explain the LTC coverage gap to his client?

Because the government won’t let him 
 

6.  Knock knock……Who’s there?     The nursing home......The nursing home, who?

The nursing home collecting for dad's bill — from your client — thanks to the state’s filial responsibility law.

7.  Why did the elder law attorney cross the road?

Because it will be five years before the client “looks back” and realizes they needed a better plan

8.  When did the compliance officer figure out the firm’s risk exposure related to Long-Term Care?

When they received the subpoena.

9.  Who did the nursing home ask for when they called the CFP’s office?

The claims processor.  That’s what they call the person handling that self-funding thing… right?

10.  Who did the consumer blame when they ran out of money paying for their spouse’s care?

The mirror

11.  What do you call the adult child whose parents are expecting them to become the caregiver?

Beats me — they were never part of the...…oh wait, there is no plan.

12.  When did the estate planning attorney explain that needing LTC could be worse than dying?

About two weeks after she entered a nursing home…..Too bad that trust didn’t cover dignity and diapers.

13.  What do you call the broker/dealer or firm’s signed disclosure form explaining the risks of healthcare in retirement and long-term care?

Missing.  

14.  Did you hear the joke about the insurance agent whose client ran out of money paying for long-term care?

Neither have I — it’s not funny.

15.  Did you hear about the nursing home designed for retired members of the advisory community?

They make the residents comfortable by charging a quarterly fee and not talking about LTC.

If these jokes made you squirm a little… good.   Long-Term Care isn’t a punchline — but the industry’s refusal to address it is.  Want to stop being the joke?  Start planning for LTC like your clients’ futures — and maybe even your reputation — depend on it.  Because they do.

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